lets speak

Yeah sunday should be good, lost my voice actually so a chat wouldn’t have been a great idea after all – that message was hanging around in my drafts and I thought I was on the mend but have relapsed since and now in bed zonking off to female chauvinist pigs.

I really want to ask you to do me a favour but I feel uncomfortable asking. This is it though: I’d like to call you on a daily /regular basis and recount my days events from my femboi (as you coined it!) perspective.

I see it as therapy, went to see a professional on Mon. I couldn’t even remember what he said his job title was immediately after he told me. I don’t think any counselling /cbt will be able to help though, ednos are… Well I left it open ended and will speak to him again to decide what’s next on the 9th.

Well let’s just say that I’d see these sessions, if you’re interested in the idea in the first place, as cathartic. I want to post them to a blog and I’d like others to get involved too. It would be amazing, if you’d post as yourself, I’m so keen to hear what you think about equality between men and women, or feminism as some people like to name it…

I think one of the stumbling blocks in my mind is that I’m not sure about authorship, do you know what I mean? I’m saying I don’t know who’s voice it’d be written in. I want you to be fully credited, but it’s my life we’d be writing about and I would want to edit what you wrote to make sure you and anyone else understood me …

And the main thing that I’m hesitant about is that I think it’d be really boring for you and I can’t see any reason or enjoyment for you apart from perhaps the voyeuristic pleasure of looking into my life! which has been enriched and, if I do say so myself, became massively more entertaining, since I started navigating my way through feminism.

Yesterday for example I woke up with my hayfever eyes crusted shut and couldn’t find a dressing gown to wear while inhaling steam. So I put on Bogna’s dress and when my eyes finally unglued themselves I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought, wow this is one hot dress so I wore it to our home ed Holland Park group.

In the eyes of other people that was perhaps one of the more extreme examples of my emancipation (‘my emancipation’ – haha!) For me it wasn’t a big deal, though obviously there were a few entertaining moments.

But even writing to this length has totally exhausted me and it’s only because I am enjoying writing to YOU that I have been able to sustain such an outpouring of letters, commas and periods. We all get periods right?!

Well probably this ought to be one of those ‘post’ emails, with that in mind though, the other day I asserted my right to define my own gender on Twitter in response to some idiot off the telly. That was an experience! So writing about a day spent in a dress on my blog is probably going to be equally enlightening, though I do have that sneaky suspicion that nobody is reading my blog!

So yeah, roll on Sunday whether you’re up for it or not, I just hope my voice is back by then… And please feel comfortable with saying “Sorry Simon, way too busy with my own life to write about yours for you” I would totally understand that. In fact seeing it written down I can’t imagine why you’d…. Well what I’m saying is please just let me know if/that I am being unreasonable.

Been such a great day without a voice. Makes me really appreciate the ability to speak,and to listen and be heard. And gave me such an insight into how people….

arrrggh got to get some rest been writing this for almost an hour.

Looking forward to hearing back from you.

We’re going to be art squatting in Paris for 3 weeks from the 11th, and going to a farm this Monday – Friday. Going to miss Bogna, but I am sure she’ll have fun, you could squash into our flat for a while to keep her entertained! Should run that by her though!!

Kisses to Tristan on his birthday tomorrow.

Okay this better be goodnight, sweet dreams for real.

Oh Bogna just got home, I fell asleep writing with a mosquito who bit me. OK time to click send and post! Is it a bad idea to do that without rereading again, perhaps..!

Sweet dreams again.

x x x

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